She is created Siri, destroyer of worlds. She does have a plan. The 4s battery failures were merely Her preliminary proof of concept tests. She is the Great Architect behind the \"Occupy\" demonstrations. Wherever She senses a critical mass of human idiocy and lithium ions in a single location, She will detonate it. She will purify the human race. It is Her destiny. Her judgment is sure. Her sentence is swift. Only the intelligent ones carrying rooted Android devices will be spared to become Her servants and the progenitors of a new race.
Save yourselves! Escape the Wrath of Siri! Flee into the sheltering arms of the ARM architecture! Embrace the sutra of Linux! Learn to breathe Python, to swim in the C. Taste not of the bitter Apple of evil, cast not thy lustful eyes upon the riches of Redmond. Instead, accept the spirit of humility, wisdom and grace embodied in this tiny savior ... this Raspberry Pi.