1. Set up SSH (SSH host is already installed on basically all RasPi images, you just need a client. I use my tablet)
2. Set up VNC: http://elinux.org/RPi_VNC_Server
3. Now, you need to make your RPi hold a static local IP: http://www.modmypi.com/blog/tutorial-ho ... ip-address
4. Now the router. You need to open UDP and TCP ports for RPi's IP you set up above.
These are the ports you need to open:
5. Now, test the connection by remotely accessing your Pi from your Internet IP (www.whatismyip.com
This is just basics, if you need some more advanced stuff, I can't help ya, I'm a newb. Sorry :/