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Mandrewpi
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Fri Mar 20, 2015 11:46 pm

This isn't really a joke but have you ever lost something like say your phone, look around for ten minutes, then look down and its in your hand?
A computer is only as smart as its programmer. ;)

I own:
Pi B rev.2, Pi 2 B, Two Pi 3 B, Two Pi 3 b+, Pi 4 2Gb, Pi 4 4Gb, Pi Zero 1.2, Pi Zero 1.3, Two Pi Zero Ws, Pi 400.
I'm known elsewhere as mandrew1444

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rurwin
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Sat Mar 21, 2015 1:09 am

What idiot keeps looking after they've found it?

;-)

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Burngate
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Sat Mar 21, 2015 12:01 pm

rurwin wrote:What idiot keeps looking after they've found it? ;-)
You're looking for your glasses.
You spend half an hour looking for them, but everything's blurred, so it's quite difficult searching.
Eventually you forget what you're looking for, but think you may have better luck if you could actually see properly, so you pick up your glasses and put them on.
You then spend another half-hour looking round, hoping if you see what you were looking for it'll jog your memory.

Nothing jogs your memory, so you give up, take off your glasses and put them down.
Then you remember what you were looking for.
Return to start.

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aTao
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Mon Mar 23, 2015 9:31 pm

rurwin wrote:What idiot keeps looking after they've found it?

;-)
:oops:
>)))'><'(((<

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Mandrewpi
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Fri Mar 27, 2015 1:53 am

What do you call a bull lying on the ground

Ground beef :lol:
A computer is only as smart as its programmer. ;)

I own:
Pi B rev.2, Pi 2 B, Two Pi 3 B, Two Pi 3 b+, Pi 4 2Gb, Pi 4 4Gb, Pi Zero 1.2, Pi Zero 1.3, Two Pi Zero Ws, Pi 400.
I'm known elsewhere as mandrew1444

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aTao
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Fri Mar 27, 2015 8:49 am

Mandrewpi wrote:What do you call a bull lying on the ground

Ground beef :lol:
Trouble is that in UK that would be minced beef.
Maybe....

What do you call a bull thats turned gay?
>)))'><'(((<

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DougieLawson
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Fri Mar 27, 2015 12:44 pm

aTao wrote: What do you call a bull thats turned gay?
Benjy.
http://www.dailyedge.ie/benjy-the-gay-b ... 0-Nov2014/
Any language using left-hand whitespace for syntax is ridiculous

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expandables
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Sat Mar 28, 2015 1:30 am

1+1=3 :lol: + :lol: :mrgreen:
By thinking like an engineer you can create a raspberry pi.
Michael Jackson enthusiast.
I got the PI model B, B+ and PI 2 model B.
When will I get the A? I don't know.

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Mandrewpi
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Tue Apr 07, 2015 4:19 pm

Have you ever thought about what gets sucked up into your fruits and veggies?
A computer is only as smart as its programmer. ;)

I own:
Pi B rev.2, Pi 2 B, Two Pi 3 B, Two Pi 3 b+, Pi 4 2Gb, Pi 4 4Gb, Pi Zero 1.2, Pi Zero 1.3, Two Pi Zero Ws, Pi 400.
I'm known elsewhere as mandrew1444

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eriktheitalian
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Tue Apr 07, 2015 7:04 pm

Sorry if my grammar is wrong.

This is old:
One physics professor one biologist one chemicalist one computer specialist are going travel with bus. After long journey bus was broken. Bus engine was dead.

Physics professor said "newton said.... bla bla bla...."
Biologist said "engine can be broken by bugs. this days fireflys very angry because... bla bla bla".
Chemicalist said "Bus driver using drug. bla bla bla"

Computer specialist said "get out bus. get in bus. engine will be start."
I cant using enough English language. My writings can be wrong grammer.$
"in micro$oft we not trust"

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rurwin
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Tue Apr 07, 2015 9:33 pm

A mathematics professor was giving a lecture. He wrote "blah blah blah It is easily shown that blah blah blah." A student put up his hand and asked "How is it shown, sir?" The professor stood and thought for a minute. Then he went to his desk and scribbled in a notebook for a while. Then he wandered out of the lecture room and walked in the rose garden for half an hour. When he came back many of the students were still there; (they were maths students so they didn't have anything better to do.) The professor walked over to the board, erased the word "easily" and continued the lecture.

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r3d4
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Sun May 03, 2015 2:10 pm

Just droping in some img's
Image

I heard upon the web that aparently "Everyone blames JS for IEEE 754" :o
Image
Image

boyoh
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Wed May 06, 2015 7:29 pm

croston wrote:A duck walks into a bar.
"Do you have any bread?"
"No sorry. We just serve beer here. Maybe you'd like to try some?"
The duck sits there for a minute before talking.
"Got any bread?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"NO!!!"
"Got any bread?"
"If you don't stop hassling me for bread then I'll nail your beak to the bar!"
The duck pauses for a moment.
"Got any nails?"
"No"
"Got any bread??? Got any bread??? Got any bread??? Got any bread??? ..........."
This one is great ,best of the lot, Regards BoyOh
BoyOh ( Selby, North Yorkshire.UK)
Some Times Right Some Times Wrong

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DougieLawson
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Wed May 06, 2015 8:27 pm

@Boy Oh!

You mean you've never seen The Duck Song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q
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DougieLawson
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Wed May 06, 2015 8:35 pm

bertwert wrote:Got any grapes?
Waddle, waddle.
Any language using left-hand whitespace for syntax is ridiculous

Any DMs sent on Twitter will be answered next month.
Fake doctors - are all on my foes list.

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Mandrewpi
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Fri May 08, 2015 12:22 pm

I do believe Bigfoot chasing shows are the most hilarious. Guy hits tree with a stick, bang bang, echo, hey Bartholomew did ja hear that? I think we found Bigfoot!!!!!!
A computer is only as smart as its programmer. ;)

I own:
Pi B rev.2, Pi 2 B, Two Pi 3 B, Two Pi 3 b+, Pi 4 2Gb, Pi 4 4Gb, Pi Zero 1.2, Pi Zero 1.3, Two Pi Zero Ws, Pi 400.
I'm known elsewhere as mandrew1444

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aTao
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Wed May 20, 2015 6:20 pm

What did the cheese say to its reflection?

Halloumi.
>)))'><'(((<

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r3d4
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Sun Jun 07, 2015 10:00 am

:roll: :lol:
-------------
How to shoot yourself in the foot? - About programming languages.

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DougieLawson
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Sun Jun 07, 2015 12:28 pm

r3d4 wrote::roll: :lol:
-------------
How to shoot yourself in the foot? - About programming languages.
The MVS JCL example is 100% wrong.

Code: Select all

//BR14 EXEC PGM=IEFBR14
//IN EXEC PGM=SHOOT,PARM=FOOT,COND=(4,LT,BR14)
read up on condition code processing and you'll understand how foot shooting happens in JCL.
Any language using left-hand whitespace for syntax is ridiculous

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Fake doctors - are all on my foes list.

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rotwang
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Sun Jun 07, 2015 2:43 pm

DougieLawson wrote:
r3d4 wrote::roll: :lol:
-------------
How to shoot yourself in the foot? - About programming languages.
The MVS JCL example is 100% wrong.

Code: Select all

//BR14 EXEC PGM=IEFBR14
//IN EXEC PGM=SHOOT,PARM=FOOT,COND=(4,LT,BR14)
read up on condition code processing and you'll understand how foot shooting happens in JCL.
Should have used IEFBR14A. So far as I remember, the only bug-free one instruction executable is IEFBR1.

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DougieLawson
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Sun Jun 07, 2015 3:21 pm

rotwang wrote:
Should have used IEFBR14A. So far as I remember, the only bug-free one instruction executable is IEFBR1.
There's only ever been IEFBR14 (I wrote a program called IEFBR15 which is really interesting)

The original version was

Code: Select all

IEFBR14 CSECT
        BR  14
        END
that had a bug, it didn't set a sensible value in register 15. So they added an extra line of code

Code: Select all

IEFBR14 CSECT
        SR  15,15
        BR  14
        END
to fix that, so the shortest possible program on S/360 had a bug fix.

On entry (on an OS/VS or derivative system) register 15 points to the entry point of the program that the operating system has just loaded, so

Code: Select all

IEFBR15 CSECT
        BR  15
        END
results in a very tight loop.
Any language using left-hand whitespace for syntax is ridiculous

Any DMs sent on Twitter will be answered next month.
Fake doctors - are all on my foes list.

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expandables
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Sun Jun 07, 2015 11:38 pm

My girl friend is pregnant but we never had intercourse how could this be?
Does any one know if a woman can have a baby being a virgin? :mrgreen:
By thinking like an engineer you can create a raspberry pi.
Michael Jackson enthusiast.
I got the PI model B, B+ and PI 2 model B.
When will I get the A? I don't know.

oktoshi
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Tue Jun 09, 2015 10:17 pm

There's only 10 types of people in this world,

Those that understand binary;

and those who don't.
Last edited by oktoshi on Wed Jun 10, 2015 7:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

BMS Doug
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Wed Jun 10, 2015 7:08 am

There are only 2 types of people in this world:

Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data
Doug.
Building Management Systems Engineer.

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Burngate
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Re: Lol- The joking thread

Wed Jun 10, 2015 8:55 am

There are at most 10 types of people in the world, for some value of 10

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