I don"t think I"d get many bookings.
But not as bad as SWMBO, who comes out as Sooty Goff.
I dunno - I had this mental image of the compere of "The Good Old Days" announcing you:
~ audience background
And now for your delight, nay, your pulchritudinous DELICITATION!
~ Band strikes up "As I was walking in the park one day" against a background of cheers and rising excitement...
I'm just a bouncer, splatterers do it with more force.....