Lol- The joking thread


346 posts   Page 14 of 14   1 ... 10, 11, 12, 13, 14
by r3d4 » Sat Apr 15, 2017 9:06 am
:)
Start @ >Have you got any experince with GNU/Linux?
Image
User avatar
Posts: 858
Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2011 8:21 am
Location: ./
by r3d4 » Tue May 02, 2017 11:55 am
"Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window. "
User avatar
Posts: 858
Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2011 8:21 am
Location: ./
by DougieLawson » Tue May 02, 2017 5:27 pm
r3d4 wrote:"Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window. "

Wrong way round. "Never trust a computer you can lift."
Microprocessor, Raspberry Pi & Arduino Hacker
Mainframe database troubleshooter
MQTT Evangelist
Twitter: @DougieLawson

Since 2012: 1B*5, 2B*2, B+, A+, Zero*2, 3B*3

Please post ALL technical questions on the forum. Do not send private messages.
User avatar
Posts: 28444
Joined: Sun Jun 16, 2013 11:19 pm
Location: Basingstoke, UK
by Heater » Tue May 02, 2017 9:32 pm
Quite so. I would sooner trust a computer that arrives on the back of an articulated lorry than these modern things that you can flush down the toilet.
Posts: 7242
Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2012 3:02 pm
by peterlite » Wed May 03, 2017 2:50 am
A lorry can disappear down a sink hole. Never trust a computer that contains electrons!
Posts: 720
Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2016 4:00 am
by r3d4 » Wed May 17, 2017 11:57 am
"If
the earth was flat
cats would have pushed
everything of it by now ..." -the internet
User avatar
Posts: 858
Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2011 8:21 am
Location: ./
by Heater » Wed May 17, 2017 6:05 pm
You mean like this:
Image
Posts: 7242
Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2012 3:02 pm
by paulie » Thu May 18, 2017 11:21 pm
Is it "Never lift more than you can eat",
Or " Never eat more than you can lift"?
It has been my custom to use Xeyes
Posts: 258
Joined: Thu Jan 19, 2012 6:51 pm
by BMS Doug » Fri May 19, 2017 7:23 am
paulie wrote:Is it "Never lift more than you can eat",
Or " Never eat more than you can lift"?

the one that I heard was: "Never eat anything bigger than your own head, unless it's Ice-cream."
Doug.
Building Management Systems Engineer.
Posts: 3805
Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2014 2:42 pm
Location: London, UK
by Burngate » Fri May 19, 2017 10:17 am
Candy floss?


A.k.a. fairy floss, cotton candy
Machines invented in 1897 and 1921, both by dentists.
Being 99% pure sugar A.k.A. tooth-rot, you'd think they'd have known better.
User avatar
Posts: 4826
Joined: Thu Sep 29, 2011 4:34 pm
Location: Berkshire UK
by BMS Doug » Fri May 19, 2017 3:02 pm
Burngate wrote:Candy floss?


A.k.a. fairy floss, cotton candy
Machines invented in 1897 and 1921, both by dentists.
Being 99% pure sugar A.k.A. tooth-rot, you'd think they'd have known better.


They knew that they were giving themselves work for as long as they wanted it.
Doug.
Building Management Systems Engineer.
Posts: 3805
Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2014 2:42 pm
Location: London, UK
by hippy » Wed May 31, 2017 5:52 pm
The secret to life, the universe, everything ...

Covfefe = 42

C + O + V + F + E + F + E
3 + 7 + 6 + 8 + 5 + 8 + 5

http://www.lucky-name-numerology.com/numerology-3.html
Posts: 2007
Joined: Fri Sep 09, 2011 10:34 pm
Location: UK
by r3d4 » Wed May 31, 2017 9:19 pm
*dreams* of a browser capable of
grep -v "$BS"
User avatar
Posts: 858
Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2011 8:21 am
Location: ./
by r3d4 » Sun Jun 04, 2017 10:30 am
$82,882,725


funny but not har har
User avatar
Posts: 858
Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2011 8:21 am
Location: ./
by David613 » Mon Jun 05, 2017 2:46 pm
rurwin wrote:
David613 wrote:This may be more depressing than funny but I've found log entries at work that include -0 (negative zero, not indicating subtraction) and -2-1=1. It has given one of my co-workers and I some amusement deciding whether zero is positive or negative.

Several, if not most of the ways to represent signed numbers result in having a representation for negative zero.

one's-complement is just an inversion of all the bits. So 11111=-0 and 000000=+0. Two's complement (invert the bits and add 1) has replaced one's-complement in most places, certainly where arithmetic is involved because there is more fiddling to do to get it to come out right.
Floating point numbers use sign-and-magnitude where a bit indicates if the number is positive or negative and the rest just gives the number. So if the sign bit is 1 the number is negative, even if its magnitude is 000000.

In both cases usually hardware will "normalise" the number before you have to deal with it, and that includes converting -0 to +0.

And in any case, a test for -0==+0 will always return true... unless you are comparing the bit pattern of course... So you need two comparison instructions, which is another reason those forms are rarely used.

Free interesting fact: In two's complement, you can imagine the most significant bit is negative and the others are positive. So for example with a four-bit word, bit 0 represents +1, Bit 1 is +2, Bit 2 is +4, but bit 3 is -8. So 1111 is 1+2+4-8 = -1. Whereas 1000 is just -8 and 0111 only adds up to 7, which explains why it's always asymmetric; with 16 bits the range is -32768 to +32767 and so on. And of course that extra negative number is where the space for -0 went to. One's complement is symmetric but has two zeros.


These were all hand written logs though, so it's more a case of someone really understanding the functional meaning of zero.
Posts: 51
Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2016 5:20 am
by berrymix » Wed Jun 07, 2017 6:54 am
Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!"

Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room"
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu May 25, 2017 2:03 am
Location: Florida
by sarahgad » Wed Jun 07, 2017 7:46 am
That pisses the hell out of me.
Posts: 29
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2017 12:07 pm
by YCN- » Wed Jun 07, 2017 8:50 am
berrymix wrote:Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!"

Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room"


:lol:
Posts: 232
Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2016 3:18 pm
by jardino » Wed Jun 07, 2017 3:27 pm
Or, in a similar situation, the excited husband says to the wife - "Go on - moan in my ear".

She says, "You bought that paint for the kitchen months ago and haven't lifted a finger to paint the kitchen!"

Alan.
IT Background: Honeywell H2000 ... CA Naked Mini ... Sinclair QL ... WinTel ... Linux ... Raspberry Pi.
Posts: 84
Joined: Wed Aug 08, 2012 9:03 am
Location: Aberdeenshire, Scotland
by sarahgad » Mon Jun 19, 2017 9:55 am
jardino wrote:Or, in a similar situation, the excited husband says to the wife - "Go on - moan in my ear".

She says, "You bought that paint for the kitchen months ago and haven't lifted a finger to paint the kitchen!"

Alan.


Hahahaha, or even say its your turn tomorrow morning to do the clothes and dishes.
Posts: 29
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2017 12:07 pm
by r3d4 » Sun Jun 25, 2017 5:09 pm
.io
User avatar
Posts: 858
Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2011 8:21 am
Location: ./